I'll be the first to point out the irony in having a blog about navigating through transitions and yet, being in the midst of a particularly confusing transition myself, I am not writing about how I'm navigating through it at all. Or at least not here. And the longer I stay away, the harder it is to come back.
The truth is, I thought I had a clear understanding of what this space was going to be or at least a direction in which to go. I spent months reflecting, purging, journaling, talking with friends, and even went through a fantastic (carefully selected) branding course. I thought I had finally settled on a new direction--a new online home. The journey to get to this space was not a straight-forward one; even securing this domain name was as serendipitous as you could imagine! I've been blogging for nearly five years and, yet, three domains later, it's possible I feel more uncertain and foggy than ever.
This fogginess is not limited to my blog, however, but rather it represents this season of life in which I'm currently stumbling. I've always prided myself on being a self-aware, reflective person who is pretty diligent about listening to myself and reflecting to find answers to important questions. But, as these past several months have revealed, sometimes there are larger questions that need a little more help and a little more time to process. These questions include decisions about my career and my relationships, and as much as I'd love to compartmentalize them, everything is intertwined.
Oh the irony of having a blog about transitions and yet being smack dab in the middle of an uncomfortable transition and not writing about it, or necessarily knowing how to just yet. These days I feel okay with things being just "fine"--not bad, not fantastic--but am making small adjustments here and there to eventually get to a place where I can tackle the bigger questions in my mind head-on. There are moments when things are so off that I feel I absolutely must fix them right then and there, but there's not always an easy solution. TIME is nearly always the answer, isn't it? Sometimes you have just continue to walk through it and listen. Frustrating, yes, but totally necessary. #marissaexplores #ihavethisthingwithfloors #permissiontopivot
Anyone who knows me or has read this blog post knows that I am not content with just sitting back and letting life happen for too long. I recognize that there is a time for just being (and letting time work its magic), but when you feel like you've been in a season of stuck for longer than necessary, it's time to take action. So, I've decided to do something about this season of life, something I've been contemplating for months: I've committed to career coaching with Clarity on Fire--a brand I've followed, respected, and admired for years (Have you taken their Passion Profile Quiz? It's fascinating! When I took it years ago, I was a Tribe Member, but I took it again this fall and discovered I was a Firestarter. Pretty sure that's 100% accurate and telling of my personal journey over the last few years).
It's pretty bold to publicly announce this undertaking, as it is one that will require more vulnerability and digging deep than ever before. And I'm not even sure what the outcome will even look like! But if I'm committed to the process, I should, inevitably, come to know myself better than I ever have before. While we'll be tackling a lot about my career and my relationships, an area I hope to find clarity in is this space. In the past five years, I've blogged about fashion, DIY, beauty, life, blogging, business, and everything in between; I've treated it both as a hobby and as a business; and it has been the biggest contributing factor in getting me to where I am today in both my career and in my life. Despite the questions I have, the many, many mental barriers I need to overcome, the shifts in the industry as a whole, I still find myself drawn toward my creative work, my writing, and my community. I have a feeling this is just the start of something much bigger and brighter. Can you relate?
While we're being all honest and transparent here (see--if I just show up and get cozy, it's not so hard, is it? If I let go of what a blog post is supposed to be, it's not so hard, is it?), something I've been contemplating is the idea of a #100daysproject--yet another thing I've been sitting on for far too long. I believe it's a great way to learn how to show up in small, but significant ways and to grow with your community (and possibly a meaningful opportunity for me to find my way back to this space). Inspired by Elise Joy's 100 Days of Pep Talks, I've even gone so far as to select a project that I think would be really great and different--challenging enough, but not enough where I could give up easily.
The problem is, now that I've undertaken this coaching and it's the holiday season and things at work are ramped up, I'm afraid. I'm scared of taking on a project that will last 100 DAYS. I don't want to sign myself up for failure. I don't want to overcommit myself. But I also don't want to sell myself short or deny myself a chance to be creative consistently. A lot of change is going to take place in the next few months--a lot of reflecting, a lot of emotions, a lot of shifting--and I'm simultaneously wanting to take it easy and also document my journey in a way that everyone can benefit from. Tell me this, at least. Is this a sign? --> I recently recorded (hint hint) the introduction to this project and had to make a minor edit and ended up overwriting it completely. Was that a sign to try again or to hold off for a bit?
Just another installment in this season's #lifequestions. ;) Have you ever done a #100daysproject or a similar challenge (shoutout to my NaNoWriMo friends--you're AMAZING!)? Have you ever done coaching before? How ARE you, anyway?